Merry Christmas!

Momma's Log December 25, 2015 (Kwrp)

It's mid afternoon on Christmas Day and I am in between feeling the elation of yet another Christmas success and kind of like I got hit by freight train.  Our two (very anxious, over excited) boys woke up 5:15am--which is pretty good for them (I think doping them up with Benedryl helped) (Just kidding--kind of). While Super Rock Star and I groggily drug ourselves out of bed, stumbling down the stairs to get the camera ready and lights on, I realized a harness and leash might have been a good idea to restrain our rabid boys as they seemed to be jumping out of their skin in anticipation on seeing what awaited them downstairs.  (Why don't they show this much enthusiasm when it's time to get ready to go to school?) This is what it looked like at 5:21am

It was SO much fun to hear them squeal in excitement and enjoy every gift.  They have not stopped playing all day.  Super Rock Star always takes such special care of me too.  He owns my heart and I love that he always finds special things that he knows I will treasure.  Here are my two prized possessions this year:

Some Antique Books to add to my library shelves ( I LOVE old books!!!)

AND a new Bobbsey Twin book to also add to my collection. 

I have always loved reading and two years ago my parents built us some beautiful shelves and installed them in a previously unused part of our home.  Now, this is our favorite space in our home and Super Rock Star and I have filled the shelves with all of the things we treasure and for me that is BOOKS!

I hope you and your family all have a wonderful and Merry Christmas and enjoy all of the things that makes this day so special--especially remembering that a tiny baby was born to be our Savior and THAT is the best treasure of all.  Here is the Christmas letter I sent out this year for those interested in reading how my family and I spent this past year. See you next year!

Dear Family and Friends,

Another year almost in the books and to my dismay my two boys keep getting bigger and older and so do I.  I will say though that I feel really grateful for the life we are privileged to live—so you won’t hear me complain too much J. Here’s the rundown for the Glenn family for 2015:

Tim

Job: Compassion International, USA Communications Director.

Hobbies:  Lead singer in local cover band SofaKillers, watching the Cowboys (please don’t talk to him about it—sore subject), wrestling, playing football and generally wearing out our two rambunctious boys, writing, going to “look but don’t touch” (antique) stores and garage sales with me and our boys, listening to vinyl albums for the first time in decades on a cool stereo we found at a garage sale and consistently giving me a hard time and teasing me relentlessly.

Likes: French fries, dark chocolate, anyone who beats the Broncos and Giants, and sitting in his big comfy chair enjoying our family room.

Dislikes: Too many meetings, breaking into small groups, and a dismal season for the Cowboys.

Highlights of his year: Being chosen to be the speaker for Compassion’s first chapel of the year—discussing the construction success of 30 school buildings in Haiti since the earthquake. Tim also traveled to Haiti in April to help a media crew do a documentary on the same subject. (You can watch the documentary at https://vimeo.com/149298814.) He also played A LOT of fun gigs with SofaKillers—including being the headliner for Briarfest (local festival) the Buddy Walk (fundraiser for Down Syndrome Association) and holiday parties for REMAX and the local NBC station, KOAA. He also made our boys summer by creating spy briefcases and coming up with several spy missions. They loved it! (And I think they honestly believe they are spies.) Tim was also excited to go for his first train ride on an old fashioned train in Georgetown, CO with me, the boys and my parents.

Jen

Job: Cleaning lady, chef, event planner, chauffer, nurse, and volunteer (stay at home mom.)

Hobbies: Reading, writing about my family adventures (check out my blog, But Wait I Have Something to Say at http://jenglenn.blogspot.com), going for bike rides and hikes, and being a groupie for a really awesome band called SofaKillers (I kind of have a crush on the lead singer.)

Likes: Dark chocolate, volunteering in my boys’ classrooms every week at their school, going to see movies on weekdays with Tim (because we can now), having a nice quiet home during the weekdays.

Dislikes: Our too quiet house with both boys in school all day, cleaning the toilets used by 3 boys, and Legos (because they are everywhere in our home).

Highlights of my year:  Going skiing with my mom in February (so much fun!), watching our two boys enjoy so many fun things and help them act out anything that comes into their wonderful imaginations, spending Labor Day weekend with my parents, sister and most of her family at Hermit Basin, the Georgetown train—loved seeing all 3 of my boys so happy, going on many school-related field trips to art museums, pioneer places, and plays , making Shark Boy costumes for Morgan and Grayson for Halloween.

Morgan

Job:  3^rd grade, vacuuming, doing laundry, gathering trash, sweeping kitchen floor

Hobbies: Building amazing creations out of Legos, singing (makes up his own songs), playing with his brother, tormenting his brother, leaving his clothing and toys everywhere.

Likes: Stir-fried rice, pancakes Daddy makes for him, Nerds candy, Sprite, watching movies and TV, playing games on the iPad, and Sarina (girl from his class—yes, he has a crush!)

Dislikes: School, doing math homework, chores, picking up after himself, flushing the toilet.

Highlights of his year:  Landsharks (track racing for elementary schools), going to Barnum and Bailey Circus, taking Tae Kwon Do lessons, staying in hotels and swimming in their pools, visiting Grandma and Papa for 4^th of July and setting off our own fireworks and swimming in “Grandma’s pool” (their local city pool), many visits from Grandma and Papa at our house, doing spy missions, going on the Georgetown train, and getting to be Shark Boy for Halloween.

Grayson

Job:  1^st grade, vacuuming, doing laundry, gathering trash, sweeping kitchen floor

Hobbies:  Doing whatever his big brother is doing, playing with his big brother, tormenting his big brother, wrestling with his Daddy, telling long, drawn-out stories that always start with “Guys, hear this…”, giggling (has the best giggle you’ve ever heard), playing with his millions of stuffed animals.

Likes:  Everything.  He really does like everything and everyone, including school, my homemade spaghetti, all candy and cookies, Sprite, watching movies (and talking throughout them and hiding and squealing during any insinuation of a love scene), playing games on the iPad and Liberty (girl from his class. Who knew “crushes” started this soon?)

Dislikes:  When no one will play with him, green beans, being quiet, sleeping past 5:30am.

Highlights of his year:  Landsharks, going to the circus, playing baseball, swimming, visits to Grandma and Papas and when they visit us, doing spy missions, going on the Georgetown train, and being in 1^st grade.

We would love to hear from each and every one of you and pray you will be blessed with God’s love, joy and peace for Christmas and throughout 2016! Merry Christmas!

                                                                        Love,

                                                                        Tim, Jen, Morgan and Grayson

The Rebel Force has awakened in me

Momma's Log December 18, 2015 (Kwrp)

No, I have not seen the newest Star Wars movie(but boy, I can't wait to)--so, don't worry--no spoilers here.  But, today has been all about rebellion for me.   Normally, I go about my business as usual, don't rock the boat, and try to do and be my best.  It all started with yesterday.  Yesterday I finished my Christmas shopping.  Yep. I know.  Hold your applause.  Because, you see--it awakened something in me.  Maybe it's all the stress of trying to make sure I get it all finished--buying gifts (hopefully not forgetting anyone), keeping belief in Santa alive for my boys, playing the part of an elf as I order and shop for all the items that they asked Santa for when we visited him at the North Pole (good gracious NO, we do not do that creepy, spying, naughty Elf on the Shelf!) (Sorry, that was harsh--I applaud those of you who can keep that going--it's WAY too much work for this chic!), making sure we keep our traditions in check--Christmas cards, hosting a party, baking goodies, and all the things we enjoy to make this season special.  All of the stuff to remember can make most of us bleary eyed and feel like crying.  Maybe it was just the exhale of finishing the most joyful (brutal) part of Christmas--the shopping.  (Maybe my head is not screwed on right or maybe my shoes are on too tight)

But, mostly I think something snapped in me because today is my last day of freedom.  At 1:00pm today, my boys will be finished with school until January 5th.  Today is my last day to enjoy a quiet, nobody else around, do what I want to do day.

Today I did things that I have NEVER done before. The first thing was that I wore my P.J.'s in public.  Now, it was only for a few moments, while I walked my boys from our car to the door of their school. And in my defense, it was Jammie Day for their school. I admit I have always been a little "judgy" when I see folks out and about in their jammies--it's like they're saying "you know what?  I give up! I have lost all self respect and hope, I don't care any more and getting dressed is just too much effort!" But, I have to say --to those of you who do this regularly--it was kind of nice.  I had that moment of panic--you know like when you look down to make sure you're wearing pants, but overall it was a very pleasant experience.  I always felt like I had to at least wear yoga pants or something--to maybe give the illusion that even though I was not dressed nice, I had a purpose-- like I was going to go work out or something.  But I think this whole wear my jammies all day thing might be a new way of living.  Who knows what's next?

Which leads to rebellious act #2.   I got a special holiday latte today.  Twice.  Yep!  I know.  It's a CRAZY day already and now I'm pumped full of twice as much caffeine as usual that I spent an insane amount of money on (please don't tell Super Rock Star).  Now, here's the thing.  (Whisper voice) I didn't even know this was allowed.  Seriously.  Who does this?  I made sure to go to two different places just in case, but I gotta tell you I was pretty nervous.   In fact at the second stop, I was giving the cashier the shifty eyed side look as I waited for him to swipe my card.  I fully expecting the alarms to start blaring and a loud voice booming. "Ma'am! You are exceeding  your delicious overpriced coffee limit for the day!  For the next two weeks you are banished to your cheap home made coffee with NO creamer.  Shame on you!!!" But, that didn't happen so, I slowly pulled away sipping my second fully caffeinated beverage of the day.  Oh my goodness --I'm outta control!  Thelma and Louise have nuthin me!

This leads to my 3rd rebellious act.  This is one I really struggled with.  Both my boys have class Christmas parties at school today.  It's the last day before Christmas break and it'll just be a fun day. It's Jammie day for them (see? I totally fit in when I dropped them off) and they'll get to have treats and watch movies.  In the past I have always volunteered to be there and help out.  But this year when I got the google document asking for treat donations and parent volunteers, I slyly closed the page after signing up for a treat for my son to bring and did not put my name in the (many) open slots for classroom volunteers. You see, as all teachers will tell you, the day before Christmas break is like no other.  It is the worst form of chaos ever known to man. Not only are our kids excited about it being the last day of school before Christmas break, not only are they ecstatic about getting to wear pajamas to school, but they know they will get to watch movies, they will get to play games and then you add sugary snacks and drinks into the mix and it is all out a war zone.  I've never seen anything like it: total anarchy.

And the teachers--well I'm convinced they are serving some nice "holiday punch"  in the lounge or something, because all of them are so mellow and cheerful as their entire classroom seems to be exploding with unbridled energy and loud screaming(or maybe they are just having to go inside their minds and find their happy place to escape from all of the carnage).  This year.  I can't.  I just can't do it.  Now, if they were willing to share this "holiday punch" with the parents--we might be on to something, but as of yet, it's never been offered and to go into that kind of situation with out some "grown up liquid management"--its just more than I can do.  I've seen too much.  I know too much.  Leave this for the rookies who are still enamored with the idea of being super parent of the year, or believe that Santa is watching and they want to score some extra points, or that they really are so much more mature than I am and have these good and gracious and selfless hearts that I've heard so much about.  This is not me.  I'm willing to sacrifice going on the naughty list and humbly accepting my lump of coal.  But, for you brave teachers and parents that are heading into battle today.  I salute you.  Godspeed!

This all led to my last bit of guilty indulgence.  Since I am finished with my Christmas shopping, I am seriously feeling like I'm on top of the world.   I  found myself wanting to high five perfect strangers.  I am giddy with excitement and feel both joyful and triumphant. So, I strolled.  Yes, strolled.  No more frantic driving around and running in and out of stores.  I leisurely walked into a store just to enjoy looking.  I was feeling a little smug as I saw other moms with the frantic half baked insane look in their eyes as they were searching for that one thing that little Johnny or Suzy HAS to have and every store is sold out.  I sauntered along , sipping my second extravagant coffee drink, swirling it around and sipping it like it was cognac and feeling like I needed a trumpet fanfare walking before me declaring my smashing victory over conquering my Christmas list. At the very least a victory tunnel of folks leading out to my car giving me low fives and chanting my name would have been a nice finish to the day.

For those of you wearing real clothes and not knowing the joy of wearing your jammies in public, for those of you surviving on home made, pre-ground, no fun stuff in it coffee, for those of you in the midst of volunteering at your child's last day before break party, for those of you in the thick of finishing your Christmas shopping lists--your time is coming, You're almost there. And you can count on me to be in the live for your victory tunnel-- low fiving, high fiving and blowing a trumpet fanfare for your celebration.  Christmas is ALMOST here! Jesus was born! Santa is on his way!

Please don't stop being thankful

Momma's Log December 8, 2015 (Kwrp)

Thanksgiving was a couple weeks ago and , I have to tell you, I am just now coming out of my turkey induced coma.  Boy! I sure enjoyed indulging.  Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Stuffing.  Super Rock Star makes the BEST giblet gravy and pecan pie.  It was AWESOME!   Even though the food was amazing, being with family was great, and oh. my. goodness. whip cream--I absolutely adore the whip cream.  But,  my favorite part of Thanksgiving really is the focus on being thankful.  I LOVED reading everyone's lists on Facebook and those that did the 30 days of thankfulness posts throughout the month of November. In a time when everyone in our country seems to be so self focused and full of bitterness of what they DON'T have, it's refreshing to see folks expressing gratitude for what they do.

I'll be honest though, this last couple of weeks have been hard on me emotionally and being thankful is not at all how I have felt.  Normally, I'm a very sunny, the glass is half full kind of person.  But, with the multiple attacks that Paris suffered almost a month ago, the tragedy in my own home town of Colorado Springs on Black Friday , and the terror that happened in San Bernardino, CA my sunny disposition has quickly turned cloudy.   I'm the type of human that personalizes every tragedy that I read or hear about. I don't watch or read a lot of news for that exact reason. Super Rock Star worked in television news as a news anchor many moons ago and though I loved watching him do his thing on t.v., I sank to an all time low emotionally during that season simply because my brain cannot process the majority of the harsh reality going on in our world.  It's not that I want to ignore it.  It's not that I don't care.  I just simply cannot cope hearing about the constant despair of our human condition.  I know many of you are the same.  You hear about the dark things that happen and put yourself in the victim's shoes living out the horror they must be facing.  Here in Colorado Springs the 3 victims that lost their lives were all parents with kids and all I could think about was how 6 children were now facing a Christmas season and the rest of their lives without their beloved Daddy's and Mommy.   What is it about Christmas that makes it especially hard to handle?  The ache in my heart for those families that had made plans, purchased gifts, looked forward to moments together and they had all of their dreams crushed and destroyed by some very confused individuals that thought that the only way to their own personal fulfillment was to crush and devestate the lives of so many.

I think a great majority of us must be suffering through some feelings of grief over all the instability we have been overloaded with in the media the last few weeks.  My Facebook feed is no longer full of what folks are thankful for, instead I see a lot of folks talking about guns, our rights as citizens, our view of politics and opinions on what we should all be doing or thinking about all of these things.  It's kind of like we are all throwing a big tantrum right now whether it's crying, yelling, being snarky and sarcastic, or even picking fights on purpose.  Just like when my 8 year old screams out in all of his emotions that he hates something or someone--he doesn't really mean it.  He just needs to get it out.  As we grow up and even as we mature we still have a need to explode every once in a while.  Sometimes we just choose to do it in words on a page rather than screaming into a pillow (as I've been known to do a time or two).  A couple of years ago, I bought a punching bag for super rock star just in time for football season.  Any time our beloved Cowboys lost, he could go out and punch the bag.  Unfortunately, since this year has been such a dismal year for our team that punching bag is toast--yep, knocked to kingdom come.  But, that's the kind of thing I'm talking about.  We all have a need to decompress--to let it out--to explode--to scream and pound our fists when things are not going in the happy, peaceful way that we want them to.

So, once you've thrown your fit, had your 5 seconds on your soap box, and gotten all of that ugliness out there, what do you do?  Well, there is a cure for what ails you.  And it's something so many of us started back on November 1st.  Thankfulness.  Even though it's not November any more.  Even though some bad things have happened.  Even though you feel unstable about what tomorrow will bring.  Please don't stop being thankful.  There's an old hymn chorus that my Mom used to sing (at least it's her voice in my head I hear when I remember it)

Count your many blessings name them one by one.
Count your blessings see what God has done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

If you don't remember to be thankful--to count your blessings, bitterness and discontent will surely wedge in and destroy your view of everything that you have to be thankful for.  Be thankful that you still have lungs and a beating heart to draw breath another day.  Be thankful for the spouse that you have chosen and has chosen you. Be thankful for your little and big kids, and grand kids.  Be thankful for the roof over your head and the running water in your sink.  Be thankful for the fridge full of food.  Be thankful for the job you get to have that pays for all of the things you need and want.  And it's o.k. to also be thankful that you have been spared great tragedy like the ones I've mentioned.  Pray for those that are suffering.  Pray for those in need who do not have all that you do.  Ask God to show you how you can help. We all have things that make us grumble.  In John 16:33 it says "I have told you all these things so that you may have peace.  In this world you will have many troubles, but take heart! I have overcome the world."  Being thankful is the very antidote we all need when the ways of this world weigh so heavily upon us.
 
I've mentioned before that Super Rock Star works for an amazing organization called Compassion International.  If you don't know about them, I highly recommend you go check out their website www.compassioninternational.com.  There are so many ways they help children and their families in very dire circumstances every day.  I love the 1000's of stories I read about them but, one of my favorite is about a team from Compassion that was visiting a family's home in a village in Africa.  By all accounts this family was living in dismal conditions--straw and mud hut, mostly barren land, and no running water. But as the team was getting ready to leave they asked the father of the home how they could pray for him. His response?  "I have everything I need.  I have a roof over my head to protect me from the weather, I have a tree that bears fruit and provides food for my family and I have water to drink.  God is good."

As we enter this Christmas season--a time of year when we love to share and give and receive, I also encourage you to be remember to be thankful.  Just take a few minutes right now and right down 10 things you are thankful for.  Even  if life is hard right now--a job lost, a sickness in your family, an uncertain future. Even if all you can muster up is that you are thankful you don't have a big zit on your forehead right now.  Try to think of 10 things that you can thank God for.  And remember:  Yes, God is good!

Procrastination, Pinterest Fails and Curse Words

Momma's Log November 20, 2015 (Kwrp)

So, last week started off with the realization that the craft fair that I had signed up to participate in at Super Rock Star's workplace was happening. On Thursday.  In my true to form procrastinating nature I started gathering ideas Monday morning.  How hard could it be?   SO.. I started off where any good crafting soldier starts off--PINTEREST.  I have a love/hate relationship with this particular place.  I LOVE it because you can get super good ideas for just about anything here and I HATE it because those super good ideas almost NEVER turn out the way they show in the picture--known as Pinterest Fails.  As you will soon see--I had one of those precious moments in my week.

TUESDAY morning (the procrastination continues) I found this SUPER cute idea for making a candle center piece out of mason jars. 

It just so happens that a friend of mine from my Bible study had just given me a bunch of mason jars that she no longer wanted.  As you get to know me...you will find that I NEVER turn down a freebie-- even if I have NO idea what I will do with it.  If it's free.  It's mine.  Anyway, I thought they looked adorable and relatively easy to make:  Some jars,some spray snow, a cute little cut out scene (PLUS the artist supplied the template for printing--YAY!) -- pop in a candle and POOF you're done.  Cute. Easy--Heh Heh--not so much.   FIRST of all, the artist said to use spray snow.  I should have grown a little suspicious when I noticed a comment questioning how well the spray snow would stay on. "I've had mine for over a year, and the snow has NEVER flaked off" says the artist. Liar, liar, pants on fire!!! I wasted an entire day spraying these jars and waiting patiently for them to dry.  Just merely picking them up sent the snow disintegrating off like the needles on Charlie Brown's Christmas tree. 

I even tried putting a finishing coat on. Nuttin.  They were a HUGE mess.  And the cute little cut out? Oh. My. Goodness.

It took me half an hour just to get ONE cut out.  I looked at the time.... I looked at what else I had to do and I saw this was going to turn into "one of those" weeks.

Next, on my list to make was some pillows.  I had all the fabric I needed, had come up with a simple Christmas tree pattern and I thought I would use up my plethora of extra buttons to sew on to make it look like ornaments on the tree. PERFECT! Now, here's where things start to take a very bad turn.   Super Rock Star got home Tuesday evening and I had managed to have 16 jars sprayed that were spewing dusty snow everywhere, one template cut out and the fronts of 4 pillows PARTIALLY done.  I was feeling pretty good about my progress until WHAM he hits me with "You know you have to have these ready by tomorrow afternoon, right?"  WHA WHAT??!! Yeah, apparently to participate in the craft fair you have to be oh, I don't know, PREPARED and have your table all set up the afternoon BEFORE the fair starts! Gulp!  I give him my best -- I had no idea look and I think he could see the desperation in my eyes.

Being the loving super SUPER ROCK STAR guy that he is AND the best husband EVER, he offered to help.  He came up with the BRILLIANT solution to use white spray paint (which does not flake off everywhere) for the jars AND he spent the entire evening cutting out the scenes.  Did I mention that the scenes were on thick craft paper. And had tiny details like 1000 windows on a house with at least two chimneys (Who does TWO chimney's. On a cut out? Why?!) ? 

Yep.  I owe him BIG time. Good GRAVY!!! Can anything just be easy?!!

Sewing on the buttons on the Christmas trees took and  EXCRUCIATINGLY long amount of time. Also, I punctured my fingers with the needle so much, I was howling in pain with all 32 buttons. (If only they made something to put on your fingers to protect them from being poked by the pins and needles when sewing....)

Also it turns out that in my pile of a bajillion buttons the only colors I possessed were brown, black and beige. Not very Christmassy (UGH!)   I had decided to buy some rope trim just to give them a little extra "I made an effort" look. Let me ask you-- have you ever tried to sew rope trim onto square pillows? 

If not--it's a real hoot (said no one EVER)! In trying to force my sewing machine over the stacks of 3ft high trim and fabric (small exaggeration--but that's what it seemed like) I had to grit my teeth (because that helps--you know) and shove the masses through the machine praying that some small particle of a stitch would latch on holding it together--meanwhile the pins that I used to hold the stacks together are jamming into my wrists and the howling in pain continues (no--they do not make a thimble type apparatus for wrists--I checked).  I am not a big curse word user.  In fact most of the time the worst that pops out of my mouth is the phrase "curse word" and the OCCASIONAL use of the "D" word.  By the end of all this I was throwing curse words out left and right without remorse.  I was yelling at my sewing machine as if my words would some how miraculously get it to defy all the odds and produce a somewhat straight seam in the midst of all of the uneven terrain of fabric, trim and buttons. At one point I noticed Super Rock Star giving me a side glance that was either fear or pride--maybe a mix of both.

By late that night, we had managed to finish most of it--only some assembly left to do. But, we were both exhausted and our hands were cramped into grotesquely painful positions.  Our home was a complete disaster area and we both fell EXHAUSTED into bed.

The finished products actually turned out o.k. and, to be honest Super Rock Star was kind of hoping the tree pillows wouldn't sell so that we could keep them for ourselves. (that is a HUGE compliment to me).

As for the craft fair.  I sold 3 of the 6 pillows I made and 0 of the mason jar contraptions.  I don't blame people--as much effort as we put into making them they didn't seem up to par for selling. Plus, there were at least 3 other tables that had some sort of mason jar craft to sell, so maybe they weren't as special as I had hoped they would be.   Lessons I learned:  1) Once again, NEVER trust an idea on Pinterest (esp. if your making it the night before said event--this is true for recipes, crafts, everything) and 2) If you decide to sign up for a craft fair--maybe start a little earlier than the day before. 

God changed my plans today

Momma's Log November 5, 2015 (Kwrp)

I love lists--I love making them, I love thinking about them, I love checking things off when I've completed them. It's like an obsession for me.  (To see how truly, crazily and insanely thorough I am, you can read it in my blog post from a few weeks ago) I have learned that having some sort of schedule is essential, because without one chaos ensues.  However, ever since my boys have gone back to school and I'm in this new territory of planning how to spend the 7 hours they are away--my lists have gotten pretty ridiculous. I have a plan on how to spend almost every moment of my day.  I like the feeling of order, control and consistency of knowing what's going to happen.   But, here's the difficult part--my desire is to get all of these things done so that when my husband and children need me I'm available, fully there and not distracted by the things I want to get done on my list.  Sounds reasonable right?  So why is it so hard?

 
Day after day, I make a plan, I start to implement it and BOOM--something happens to throw my world into COMPLETE chaos (or mildly disrupted--it depends on your perspective).  Whether it's something as small as one of my children forgetting something at home so I have to spend an unplanned 20 minutes of my day (which is clearly slated to be designated to exercise time) to go take it to them at school, or the car is out of gas and I (UGH!) have to spend an excruciating 15 minutes watching the meter click at an interminably slow pace which has now forced me to be behind during my running errands scheduled time slot or, the one that nearly sends me over the edge of my sanity--the super chatty sales clerk at the store.  Oh. My. Goodness.  I DO NOT need to hear about how your head cold is making you feel all sluggish and that management won't let you go home as you sneeze and cough and sputter your woes to me while ringing my purchase at an excruciating slow speed.  Keep your head down, sister, and just scan, scan, scan-- make it snappy! It goes on and on--interruptions that destroy and upset my perfectly laid out plan of how I wanted to spend my time that day.

But, boy have I been convicted lately on this issue.  I realized I was being absolutely hateful to everyone I came in contact with--even those I love the most--all because I felt that their "interruptions" or "slowness" or even silly changes in plan were taking precious time away from my time spent on my list.   One example was last week--Super Rock Star normally practices on Tuesday nights, but last week  the band decided to cancel practice.  Now, what I had planned on doing was--what I always do while he's at practice which is read a book and relaxing--it was on my list.  Item # 22.786 sub paragraph 2.   With the change in schedule I ended up snuggling with my hubby while we watched shows. Oh the horror (dripping sarcasm)  Ridiculous Right?  It's enjoyable to sit with him and enjoy giggling at our favorite shows together, but because of my over the top control freak desire to stick to my plan--I was grumpy and groany and made sure he realized that changing his plans was NOT making me very happy.  

Whenever my boys get home from school, I have a SCHEDULE to keep--home work, chores, put their things away, THEN they are to go off and play so I can make dinner.  But, that rarely happens.  Instead they want to tell me about their day (the nerve), talk while they're doing their homework, and I have to prod them through each and every chore all the while they are goofing off and laughing and having a great ole time while they do it. What happens?  I LOSE it --I yell, I screech and holler for them to go with the plan, follow orders, do as they are told!

As you can imagine, when I see their crumpled little faces or when I see the look of rejection in Super Rock Stars face--I realize they must wonder " what in the world is wrong with this woman"?  Why can't I just lighten up?  Why do I feel SO defeated when things go awry? Why am I trying so hard to control my life rather than just live it? So, in the quiet of my time with the Lord, He leads me to realize that everything I am fighting against--the interruptions, the changes in plan, the unscheduled events--ARE His plan for me.  Get it?  God is trying to show me He has a plan for my life every day and it is not what I thought (or planned) it would be.  I'm not saying it's totally wrong to have an outline for you day--goals or things you would like to get done--but the way I have been handling it has been totally wrong.  I have used my lists as my marching orders and like a good little soldier I want to complete them so I feel complete.  But God is saying "No,no, no, no, child--My plans for you are different. My ways are NOT your ways."   He wants me to seek Him in everything--including how to spend my day.  He wants to grow me, stretch me, create in me a desire to be more like Him and if I am just following my own agenda--I'll miss it.  I'll miss those opportunities to grow closer to my husband, I'll miss those opportunities to engage with my children and just laugh and be silly with them,  I'll miss those opportunities to show kindness, patience, respect to a stranger.  I'll miss out on showing Jesus' love to those who desperately need it--all because I am so focused on some silly non important things I wrote down on a piece of paper.

Earlier this week I challenged myself to at least try to be more flexible if some hiccup disrupted what I had scheduled.   As you can imagine it took nano seconds for God to let me test this out.  MY plan for the day was to follow my older son's bus to the destination for his field trip and then run some errands, go home and get some house work done that I was behind on, take a rest, do some reading maybe and then pick up both boys after school.  THAT was the plan, but what happened was NOT the plan.  Oh sure, I followed the bus, got to see him safely into the building, take off  in my car whistling a happy tune of freedom.. and then...my phone rings.  It's his teacher wondering if I could stay and be an extra chaperon for the field trip since the one who was supposed to go cancelled.  Sigh!  "O.K." , I say, "I'll turn around and be right back".  Mentally, I'm calculating that I will now no longer have time to do ANY of the things I planned to do that day.  The field trip is to see a two hour play put on by young adults that I will now GET to watch with my son and about 200 other noisy, rambunctious 2nd and 3rd graders. Oh, joy! I realized that by the time the play finished and following the bus back to the school I would barely have enough time to get a load of laundry in before it was time to head back to the school for pick up.

The whole time I drove back to the field trip destination I mentally coached myself to get into the moment.  But, I'll be honest--I wasn't there.  I did this VERY begrudgingly and not AT ALL with a good attitude.  I plastered on a smile and sat next to my son.  But, as soon as the play started and I had surrendered to the realization that my plan for the day had been blown (that I was trapped and there was no where to run or hide), I relaxed.  My son thoroughly enjoyed the play--and to be honest--I did too.  I LOVED his look of pride and joy when he saw me come in to sit next to him.  I LOVED watching him laugh and really get into the story and I LOVED how he clung to me almost the entire two hours.  But,  most of all I loved that somehow I knew I had permission to enjoy this moment in time.

You see, I think as Moms we feel like were supposed to be doing doing doing all the time.  Especially as a stay at home Mom--I constantly feel like I have to justify my existence and "earn my keep" so to speak.  I think that's why I'm always pushing myself so hard to get so much done.  But, this experience has taught me something so huge I can hardly put it into words.  At any given time, God has us where we are for purpose.  For me that means being fully here for my family, rolling with it when my plans change and engaging and being kind to the strangers He places in my path almost every day.  It means allowing God to "interrupt" my schedule so that I can be what He wants me to be for someone else and be in the moment rather than chasing after the next item on my list.  As with all the lessons He's teaching me, this one does not come easily.  As I walk through this life-- trying so hard to shed this snake skin of my sinful nature that longs to be selfish-- and replace it with being more selfless and putting others needs before my own, I find that the Lord blesses me with the feelings of significance and sense of completion I long for. When I put my agenda before His, all I feel is miserable.  

As I walked Morgan out to his bus after the play he gave me the biggest hug and whispered "I'm so glad you stayed".  That, folks, is all the encouragement I need to try to do this Momma/Wife thing better all the time.

To buy or not to buy--THAT is the question!

Momma's Log October 27, 2015 (Kwrp)

Today we need  to discuss a critical topic--one that can raise havoc in households all across our nation, dividing families, causing weeping and gnashing of teeth and tearing at the very fabric of our peaceful lives: Do you do store bought or homemade Halloween costumes?

Now, this is seemingly a simple question to answer, but in my almost 9 years as a Momma--I tell you it is NOT.  Every year I face the excruciating anxiety over what my two little monsters will tell me (demand) what they would like to dress up as.  When they were babies--we got to choose for them and boy did we have fun!

But, now that they are older, they have VERY specific ideas on this subject and, buckle up because it can be a bumpy ride.  You see, kids, there this little known phenomenon called "television show/movie influence" that I am just becoming aware of.  What is this? You may ask.  It is the syndrome that causes all children to become OBSESSED with whatever they have recently been exposed to on television or movies.  Did you take your kiddos to see the latest Disney movie? Uh huh.  Did--as soon as the lights sprang on--your overly excited and over the top stimulated child then start rattling off how they wanted to be the hero/princess/robot or whatever was portrayed in the movie?

Yep.  Later when you got home, did your child stumble across the newspaper ads and see that there were TOYS available to purchase featuring said characters and then start begging and pleading and giving you their Christmas and birthday wish lists involving these toys? (My boys lists have extended into --"for this birthday I want this and for my next birthday I want this", and so on....we're at about 5 years from now on the wish lists)  And then, low and behold, did the catalog featuring Halloween costumes somehow escape the recycle bin and end up in front of Junior in all of his wide eyed wonder that not only are there toys, but he realizes his dreams can now come true--he can now BE the one he has been obsessing over?  And there you have it--the dilemma.

On the one hand one has to consider budget--Halloween costumes can cost as much as a weeks worth of groceries.  But, on the other hand--one has to be pretty crafty and creative to put some of these contraptions together in a way that it will at least seem like the real deal.  Sometimes the time, effort and cost of materials alone can be staggering.    Whatever happened to the one piece flimsy jumpsuit costumes with the hospital tie in the back and the horrible plastic slitty eyed, barely large enough hole to breath through masks that cost like 5 bucks?

No, no today costumes are all elaborate with the built in poofy muscles, the layer upon layer satin gowns and then--oh my gosh--the accessories (sold separately, of course).  The guns, swords, shields, tiaras, purses, wigs, wands and helmets--it just goes on and on and on.  Last year was a purchase year for me and not only did we have masks and weapons, but we had to have special gloves too. My goodness, who knew that a pair of finger less gloves would cost as much as a weeks worth of latte's?

Now, I know what you're going to say (in your most condescending voice)--"you know you don't HAVE to do all that?  Second hand stores have perfectly good used costumes and last year I only spent $10 for little Johnny and he was as happy as can be".  And you would be right.  I could do that.  But, there is something magical about allowing my boys to become the objects of their fantasy that make them feel like super heroes.  I love placing them in the moment and watching their imaginations soar as they battle the legions of doom and destruction that threaten to take over our humble abode.  But, it does come at a price--sometimes a hefty one.

This year, I goofed big time and I suppose that is the reason for my post today--to save other parents from being as foolish as I was a few weeks ago. We were all set--with the latest Avengers movie that came out earlier this year and then Ant Man this Summer.  My boys had decided on store bought costumes and I had even clipped coupons for some pretty significant savings that would help me not break the bank.(Yay me!)  But then I made the mistake of all rookie mistakes:   Anyone else have Netflix? Yeah, me too.  Anyone else let their kids watch Shark boy and Lava girl?

My boys LOVED it.  I mean LOVED IT LOVED IT.  They've seen it about half a dozen times in less than a month.  I realized too late that the imaginations of my two super heroes had shifted from Ant Man and Ultron to......Shark Boy.

What?!!! But, but...we had a PLAN and, and....I had it all worked out! Why, you ask,  would this changing of their minds create such crisis?  Well, you see, the movie came out about 10 years ago. (Truthfully, I should have realized this since Shark Boy is played by Taylor Lautner and I know he's not 10 anymore cause I've watched him as the wolf boy/man, or whatever, in Twilight)  And,as you can imagine, there are no toys to correspond (bonus for me). But-- the big horror--no costumes.  None.  Nada.  I had two little faces imploring me with their precious blue eyes and pleading to be Shark Boy. " Please Momma? PLEASE?????".

So, I did what any Mother would do...  I told them they couldn't be shark boy because they don't make shark boy costumes and that it was unfortunate that Netflix would revive a show featuring super heroes that kids love and not have some sort of product marketing to go with it. And that was that.   Or so I thought.  My boys would have been fine, if I told them they had to settle for a second choice.  To be honest my boys would be fine wearing the same costumes from last year, but it was me that wanted to make them happy.  To eek out those precious grins of excitement that come in such rare waves these days.  To be THEIR hero in coming up with a way to make their dreams (silly though they seem) come true.  So, I begrudgingly got on Pinterest (the bane of my existence) found a couple of photos from folks that had found simplified ways to make the costume and I grumpily got to work.

One of my friends told me recently that she felt like I had a mom gene that she didn't get.  I want to be perfectly honest with you.  I love my boys and I LOVE being a Momma--Super Rock Star and I do A LOT for them and with them and love every second.  But, for me, every birthday party, every Christmas surprise, every planned fun outing, and yes, every Halloween costume always begins with a curmudgeony groan of "UGH--this is going to take FOREVER" or "WHY oh why can't we just dial this one in--I don't wanna!" I wanted to have children as long as I can remember and I always imagined myself being the kind of crafty, creative, come up with a zillion projects and always engage my children Mom. But, I found out real quick that this Momma thing does not come naturally to me--EVER.  Most days I am just fumbling along and feeling pretty smug whenever we make it to the end of the day with all of us alive, somewhat clean and fully clothed.  I am always thrilled when I feel I got one right--those moments when I feel like there should be some sort of awards ceremony that miraculously pops into my home and Dick Clark (If he were still alive) bestows on me the Mother of the Day award.

I never regret investing time in my two little boys, but I am a selfish, introverted, grumpy Gus on the inside and it takes a lot of effort for me, a lot of days, to invest time to do much more than just get by.  I'm not proud of it and I know I have a long way to go in changing my attitude.

The Shark Boy costumes really weren't that big of a deal to put together and it didn't take much time at all.  In fact, just between you and me...I enjoyed it.  It was fun to be a little creative and it brought me a lot of joy to know how happy my boys would be when they got to be the object of their current dreams.   And, yes, they are SO happy--you just can't tell in these pictures because Shark Boy is always apparently grumpy (he and I have A LOT much in common) and my boys are method actors.

How about you?  Are you a store bought costume purchaser or do you like to get out your inner Martha Stewart and come up with your own creations?  I will tell you, after this experience, I will not be as hesitant to explore the home made option more often--it's fun to have them dressed up as something different than the masses.  And, just in case you're wondering--no.  No, I am not going as Lava Girl.  Tight pink spandex is not happenin on this Momma's body.