Beach Vacation Dreamin......

Momma's Log February 20, 2016 (Kwrp)

This time of year I often long to get away to some place warm.  By mid January most of us cold state dwellers get about sick to death of air so cold it hurts, dressing in layer upon layer of heavy bulky clothing and feeling like our skin is going to shrivel like a raisin with the below freezing dry atmosphere.  

Snow has lost all of its charm and and a 55 degree sunny day send most of us running outside in our shorts in flip flops like we just got released from prison.  With spring break coming up next month I long to go some place with sandy beaches, sipping some fancy drink with a shish kabob of fruit in it, and soaking up the sun enjoying temps well above the frigid tundra I now find myself in.  A girl can dream. Unfortunately this year (like many before it), it will remain a dream.  Why? No BUDGET. No money. No dinero. No greenbacks. Nadda. Nuttin.  That fleeting dream went flitting away when Super Rock Star and I GOT to buy new tires. For BOTH our cars... at the same time. So, while so many of you will get to enjoy my above mentioned fantasy played out in real life or some other fun trip with your fam--WE get to enjoy safely driving our cars on the never ending snow and ice.  yay.... 

But, it got me to thinking about the seemingly constant state of feeling like I'm always being one step behind financially.  Super Rock Star makes a generous salary and I am certainly an EXPERT in helping him spend it.  But, I confess, when it comes to budgeting--especially for the the fun stuff and the dream stuff--I fail. It always seems that no matter how much I plan, fret, fuss and anguish over where to spend those hard earned dollars--a surprise always comes up.  Planning to buy new furniture? The dishwasher goes out.  Have the money set aside for ski weekend? My phone dies. It seems that life always throws a curve ball--especially when it comes to money and how I want to spend it.  For years now, I have become aware that it was never really mine to spend anyway and I definitely want to be a good steward of ALL God gives us, but JUST ONCE I would like it if He and I were on the same page as to HOW and WHAT it was going to be spent on.

Every now and then we will get enjoy a bit of a wind fall--some unexpected refund or cash found or something like that.

For a few moments we dream about what we could spend it on--and admittedly it is usually a little selfish--a shopping trip for new clothes, or the like.  So, why does it seem that within SECONDS of receiving that little extra-- some catastrophe happens to the tune of the how much money we just "found".

I know, I know.  I need to be more grateful.  I mean--we could end up going into debt rather than having the money on hand--and trust me--from experience---you do NOT want to go there.  I have spent the better part of my adult years battling that beast and I am SO weary of it.  I just long for a day when we are ahead of the game instead of a step behind. And it would be SO NICE to get to spend it on something fun without feeling guilty rather than something SO responsible and BORING.

I guess my point is... I just want to do better.  I want to be able to have a little jingle in my pocket at the end of each month and be able to feel proud that we are on a good path--that we have paid all our bills, given in all areas where God has led us, put something in savings for us and our boys future,  set aside some for the unexpected surprise expenses and taken care of all our responsibilities.  AND THEN have the hope of being able to spoil ourselves a bit on something besides the immediately necessary and mundanely boring (a new dishwasher. Really?!!)

Does anyone else struggle with this? Or are we alone in our constant fret over getting ahead of the game.  In some ways, I realize we are a product of some bad habits.  In many marriages there is the "spender" and the "saver".  Not so with us.  We are BOTH spenders and neither one of us likes to save.  If spending was an Olympic sport, I'm pretty sure I would be--many times over--a gold medal winner.  I'm not necessarily a spend-o-holic--I don't just enjoy going out shopping looking for things to spend money on (although, I skated pretty close to that border back in my youth), but I'm very good at spending just a skosh more than we have every month.  Little by little--it's not that bad.  But when it all adds up at the end of the year, it's more than we can tackle and it keeps us from enjoying the fun stuff of life.

I've come to  realize that these bad habits are stealing our joy. With an unending and never seem to be changing situation in our finances, I think both Super Rock Star and I sometimes feel a bit defeated.  And when a person feels defeated SO MANY bad behaviors ensue.  We waffle back and forth from tightening our belts financially to the point of suffocation to all out rebellion and saying "you know what? I'm sick of living like this--we need to have some FUN!" And so we do.  And it's a mad, mad, mad, mad cycle.

I tell you what though.  Like any bad behavior--you get to the point of just saying. Enough.  Enough of this ridiculousness.  The truth is that for most of us there will NEVER be enough money to stretch for all of our needs, wants and desires and I'm finally realizing that truth for me.  It's the foolishness of this world to believe that we will be so much happier if we could just ____________ fill in the blank--pay off our debt, go on that vacation, buy that new shiny thing.  Studies have shown that unless you are willing to change your habits and how you even approach spending you will always be behind--even if you make a bajilion dollars (but wouldn't it be fun to find out?). 

Many of you are good savers and have put aside a tidy nest egg for future things and even retirement. I admire and envy you, but even that is not guaranteed.  A perfect example of this is my parents-- they worked their hind ends off for YEARS-- investing and saving for their retirement.  They had a very respectable amount saved and when they retired they started to enjoy spending the hard earned fruits of their labor.  The problem was that a stock market crash wiped out a big chunk of that savings.  I'm sure it felt like a sock in the gut to them when it happened, but my Dad just shrugged his shoulders and said "The Good Lord gives and He takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord".  (Job 1:21b).  I'm not sure I would be so calm in the midst of that--I get upset if I discover I don't have the five dollars I was going to spend on my weekly coffee treat.

Can we all be a little more responsible with what we've been given? Absolutely.  Should we have goals and budgets for obtaining the things we have? Of course. But, like any other issue--it shouldn't be an obsession that we spend all of our time worrying and fretting about. There has to be balance.  I confess I have not found it yet--but, I'm trying.   But that's what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing...working it out. Trying to do better.  Will I fail? Yes.  Will unexpected pitfalls happen?  Unfortunately, yes.  But will God take care of me in the midst of those failures and pitfalls?  ABSOLUTELY!  He promises that we will always have all we need (Phil. 4:19).  I'm STILL trying to convince Him that a beach vacation is a NEED and not a WANT--it's an ongoing disagreement.

As for me? It's like so many other areas of my life.  I know what I need to do....it's just a matter of doing it. Until then, I will wait for that 55 degree day-- take my sippy cup full of lemonade (mixed with an adult beverage), plop in a lawn chair in our sand box and pretend--just for a moment-- that I'm on a beach somewhere very exotic and I will toast those of you who get to enjoy the real deal. Send me a post card...

 

14 Things I love about My Man

Momma's Log February 14, 2016

Ah! L'Amour! We are in the month of February--the month of LOVE! I can't help but think of chocolates and roses and candle lit dinners. I adore how even my little boys get all starry eyed with the idea of love --they get a kick out of  giving their Daddy some handy hints on how he can show his love for their Momma--i.e. "girls like princess dresses and smell good (perfume)"  Yep--I've got two little Casanova's in the making. But to be honest, Super Rock Star has never been in need of help in remembering to make me feel loved.  In fact, I would say he does a pretty stinkin good job of it all throughout the year--he has never missed a birthday, anniversary, or ANY special occasion and can quote the date of our first date effortlessly.

I, on the other hand, am not as good at this as he is.  Oh sure, I remember all the important dates and such, but unfortunately I have never been really great at showing love.  I have always been a pretty private person in this area and guarded my heart pretty fiercely.  I just assumed when we got married that those natural --keep things close to my chest-- tendencies would melt away.  I don't think he has issue with me not blabbing about my love for him to the masses, but sometimes I forget that it's o.k. to blab about it to him.  If you hadn't figured it out by now--I like him. And I don't just like him, but LIKE him like him. I think it might be serious since this will be our 23rd Valentine's Day.    SO,in an effort to show him in some small way my love, I'm gonna share with him (and you) 14 things that I love best about him.

1. He is HANDSOME--Seriously?... Seriously...SER.I.OUS.LY! I am not a superficial beauty type of person, but waking up to this face every day? Fagetaboutit!

2. He is loving--As I've mentioned, he has never forgotten to celebrate all of our important events in life together.  But, he also takes time to do the special, unexpected things.  One of our Sunday traditions is to stop at the 7 eleven after church so our boys can get slushies and candy (some folks do donuts--we do this) and he always buys me a scratcher lottery ticket.  A couple of weeks ago he knew he couldn't join us in going to church (late night life of a Rock Star) so he purchased a ticket and had put it in my purse for me to find. 
3. He is a hard worker and great provider--Both he and I have had a variety of jobs and careers in our time together, but I have NEVER had to worry about him taking care of us.  Even during moments when the rug got pulled out from under him-- he got up, dusted himself off and found the next thing.  He also has a very strong work ethic and never gives anyone a worry over whether or not he can get it done.  He can and he does. Period.
4. He is fun and funny--No one makes me giggle and bark out loud with laughter more than him.  He loves to crack funny one liners during movies or while were watching shows and he can always count on me to laugh.  The only down side has been when he chooses to do it during the sermon at church.  I swear he does it on purpose right when the pastor is looking in our direction and I guffaw out loud in laughter during what-- I'm sure-- is supposed to be a very serious and somber part of the service.  I just know I'm going to get kicked out some day.
5. He is creative--I found this out very quickly.  During our dating years, he would doodle beautiful drawings on paper napkins (I think I still have them somewhere) and the very first Christmas card I ever received from him was a beautiful homemade creation done in a 3 dimensional scene.  Since then he has created countless cards, he makes special creative pancakes for our boys almost every weekend and has built two special beds for them and a pirate ship in our back yard (yes, you read that correctly...a PIRATE SHIP). He also writes, takes very cool photos and is the one behind many of the cool things we have in our home.

6. He is an AWESOME Daddy--I've never known someone who was looking forward more to becoming a Daddy. He loves and takes that role more seriously than any other.  Our boys will never know a day of doubt about the love he has for him.  He wrote them special lullaby songs when they were baby's, he has spoken the story of what an answer to prayer they were over and over to them and now they can recite it verbatim, he takes great joy in teaching them, wrestling with them, laughing and being silly with them, and pouring his whole being into their little lives.  It is an amazing thing to witness and makes me love him even more.

7. He is a great cook--For any of you single ladies out there--this quality doesn't necessarily have to be on your "checklist", but I will testify that it is a definite "cherry on top" quality in a husband.  I've mentioned the creative pancakes he makes for our boys most weekends but, my man can cook a mean chicken fried steak, he makes THE BEST giblet gravy every year for Thanksgiving (seriously, I never in my life would have tried a giblet if not for him), and many many other delicious things.  I love that he is a creative cook too.  I'm a strict recipe follower (more Rainman like in every way).  He, on the other hand, will come up with his own concoctions.  The only down side is that in his "Mad Scientist" method of putting together a meal, he often won't remember how to duplicate it.  It's always a surprise and always wonderful.

8. He loves Jesus--Again to the single ladies--this one IS a MUST, a numero uno on the checklist.  I love that he is so aware of his need for Jesus and that he is daily expressing his thankfulness to me and our boys for all of the blessings God has given us.  No matter what ever happens in our lives, our shared beliefs and faith in Jesus is our solid rock foundation to build our life and love on.
9. He is a man of integrity and has a VERY strong character--Super Rock Star has had A LOT of hard knocks in life and through it all he has become one of the strongest people I know.  He chose early on that life's circumstances and others opinions were not going dictate to him how his life was going to go.  Of course, reason #8 is paramount in him becoming who he is, but I swear he has more determination in a day than I will be able to muster up in a lifetime. 
10. He is an amazing singer--

THIS friends-- is one of the ways he won my heart.  The man can melt me down to my toes when he sings--especially when they are special songs he has written just for me.  One of  THE MOST romantic moments in our marriage was on our wedding day he sang a song that he had written A Capella as I walked down the aisle. SWOON!  Years later  he secretly recorded the song and surprised me on our 20th anniversary.  I love going to listen to him when he sings with his band Sofakillers as they do so many fun cover tunes. But, he has ALSO recorded two albums of songs he has written. You can listen to and purchase his music on his website timglennmusic.com
 

11. He is trustworthy--I do not doubt his commitment to me and to our family.  I KNOW that he will always do whatever it takes to protect us, provide for us and do his best every day to love us.
12. He is Ornery--Our first year of marriage I walked into our little town home apartment and found him lying at the bottom of the stairs in a grotesque position.  I was beside myself wailing and screaming thinking the worst.  All of a sudden he sits up--wide smiled and laughing. "Gotcha!" OH! The tongue lashing I gave him for that one! This was the first of many and now he is even teaching his young padawans (our boys) his mischievous skills.  I am always the target and always fall for it.  SIGH!
13. He is Smart--I am constantly amazed at the things he can calculate in his head, work out things in his mind and instantly be able to communicate it in a smooth, clear and efficient way.  He is an encyclopedia for almost all current news, picks up new technology so easily, and can memorize things quickly.  This has come in handy in so many ways since--in all the things I just mentioned--I am the EXACT opposite. 
14. He is diplomatic--I ALMOST put even-tempered, but with football season just ending and the Cowboys having such a dismal year and the Broncos winning the Super Bowl (sorry--unfortunately you  cannot be a Cowboys fan and a Broncos fan at the same time. It's a scientific fact) tempers have flared around here this past week.  However, diplomatic is a much better word for him.  He is calm in the midst of the worst kinds of pressure.  I witnessed this best during his years working in television news.  I cannot even begin to tell you the chaos that goes on in a newsroom--especially when breaking news hits.  He would be on the anchor desk calmly telling the events, meanwhile he would have a voice yelling at him through his IFB (inner ear thingy), people scrambling around off camera, and orders being barked out.  All that would seriously make me go ballistic.  He has an amazing calm on me too.  I am a very passionately emotional person (nice way of saying I'm a basket case).  Especially when it comes to a certain 8 year old throwing fits about doing homework and a certain 6 year old who rolls his eyes at me.  I can't tell you how many times he has come home from work to witness us on the brink of WWIII and within minutes has us all calm and signing a peace treaty.

There are so many, many other things that I love and appreciate about my husband, but these are my top 14. I have such a deep love and respect for this man that I get to share life with. Happy Valentine's Day to my Super Rock Star!

The "E" word

Momma's Log February 1, 2016 (Kwrp)

Last week I chose to share with you my goal about being purposeful in staying home.  That is goal #1 .  To continue with that theme I'll share with you my second goal for this year.(I promise I won't drag you through every last one of them)  Goal #2 is a low down dirty word for me.  I call it the "E" word.  For many of us it is the bane of our existence, it makes our hearts thunk down to our toes at the very thought or it, our flesh screams in pain at the mention of it.  It is...EXERCISE.  Now, I realize, there is a group of you out there and you are probably throwing your hands up and thinking "what's the big deal? I live for going to the gym and spending a gagillion hours pumping iron, doing spin classes, getting to my optimal heart rate level, calculating my BMI (what the HECK is that?!!.  No. wait. Don't answer.  I don't want to know)." I admire you.  I think you're a super star.  But, I confess, I do not understand you.  I just don't share this enthusiasm and passion (insanity) that you have.  For me, exercise is a necessary evil and if I didn't have to... I wouldn't.  There.  I said it.

Super Rock Star and I watched the movie Everest this week.  The whole time watched it I was wondering who ARE these people that decide one day "You know what?  I would like to know what it feels like to  push my body beyond its created limits (to the death) so,  I'm going to pay an enormous amount of money, fly half way around the world and deprive myself of oxygen whilst I climb--on purpose-- to the height that 747's fly"  At one point in the movie the guide for the trek up the mountain tells his fearless followers "At (and he names some altitude above 20,000ft) your body will start to die.  It is my job to get you to the top and back down safely before that happens". Sounds like a real hoot! Not to spoil too much--but, he was not completely successful.

 
So, this post is not for you exercise enthusiasts (crazies) and certainly not for those of you who are extreme athletes like those in the movie I watched.  It is for the folks on my side of the universe that simply realize that unless we want to eat only lettuce leaves and unrecognizable tasteless food AND we want to live long enough to see our children grow up and meet our grand children we must do something to maintain our health and girlish figures.  So, please understand.  I am not an expert on this.  I do not have answers on any of the technical parts of it.  I do not know the names of most of my muscles and bones.  If you are interested in that side of this discussion I suggest that you seek out some professionals who know so much more than I.  What I DO know is that exercise is necessary for ALL of us.  Yes, that means you too.  I read a lot of Beth Moore's blog and have done many of her studies.  One of my favorites is Breaking Free.  In this study she talks about how if your weight has become an obsession for you--you are constantly tracking the number on the scale, you weigh and measure every bite, you live and breath what comes into your body and what goes out--then you are worshiping an idol.  You are bowing down to a false god.   And that covers both ends of the spectrum--whether or not you're obsessed with  trying to lose 10, 20, 100 lbs OR if you are so zoned with the level of fitness in your body that its all you do, think about, talk about and live for-- that is also a form of idol worship. 

Now, simmer down-- I'm not talking about keeping track of your calories or keeping a food diary and things like that.  Those things are good and helpful.  Heck, I've been known to count calories--otherwise I could  rationalize eating myself to the moon and back and wonder where those extra twenty pounds came from.  And I'm certainly not talking about those of you that spend a couple hours at the gym every day (more power to ya). No. I'm talking about something more serious and that is when the shape and size of your body is all you think about. It consumes you and keeps you from ever being content with where you are.  Your identity and self esteem is so wrapped up in it that if you are a person that is on the heavier side of the scale you may not ever feel comfortable going out in public and feel embarrassed by your appearance and--on the flip side--the one who is driven only by perfecting their bodies and drinking only green goo to survive and scorning those who have not "seen the light" on how to get and maintain a perfect body. In Luke 12:34 It says "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

 
I knew a sweet young woman in a Bible study a few years ago who was a recovering anorexic.  She was well aware of her obsession over her weight to the point that she joked about how she thought that she looked like a rescued victim from Auschwitz.  I asked her one time what led her to almost starving herself to death and her answer surprised me.  "Because I was good at it." She felt that she was so good at not eating and maintaining a skeleton like figure and that's why she kept at it. She was obsessed with doing something COMPLETELY about her body because she felt like she could be in charge of it and control it.  I think there's a danger of that happening to any of us no matter which way the scale is tipping.

Exercise was never meant to be a punishment or obsession.  It's to help us to feel good (releasing those awesome "feel good" endorphin's), to strengthen our bodies so we can function properly, do our work/tasks  and not be in constant pain, and to maintain our health.  That's it.  As Beth Moore put it "get up, do it, get it over with and move on".

And that's what my goal is--to just get up and move.  I admit over the last several years--it's been tricky.  When my boys were small I could put them in a double jogger stroller and walk or jog to a park.  Sure, I resembled the sound of a freight train as I chugged up some hills, but I found out real quick how necessary a little exercise was for my personal sanity.  When they got older and too heavy for the stroller I found some exercise videos to do while they watched a show.   It's not my favorite form of exercise--but something is better than nothing, right?  AND now they've come out with so many cool new ones that give you optimal heart beat levels (I'm really lousy at this) in only 25 to 30 minutes.   Sometimes my boys would join me and-- as I've heard my fitness enthusiasts friends talk about-- it's good for our kids to see us taking care of ourselves.  These days, I'm in a sweet spot.  I can actually go out for a jog --I'm more motivated if I can be outside (it still ain't pretty) or a bike ride or hike after I take my boys to school and get it done and move on with my day. I can testify that a little exercise gives me more energy for the other things I need to do and I feel better --my posture is better, I feel stronger and yes, those endorphin's help me immensely in not feeling so stressed and weary and whiny (Super Rock Star really appreciates this, I think). 

Just like with anything I think it's best to start slow and move up.  Years ago (WAY before I had children) I had made up my mind that I wanted to start training to run a marathon (I know, right?).  But, I didn't start by going out and running 26.2 miles the first day.  I started with running around the block (it's all I could do at the time) and then week by week I increased my radius until I was up to doing some measurable distances and actually did complete a half-marathon.  No, I never did get to run my full marathon--I got pregnant and then just sort of lost interest in it.  My point is, I had to start somewhere.  As we are beginning yet, another new month in this year I would like to encourage you as well in this.  It's okay if, like me, exercise is not your thing.  But hey, find your motivation--go for a walk in the rain or snow (bundle up) (make sure it's not blizzard conditions like it is here today), get a treadmill (I got one for $20 on Craigslist) and walk it out while you listen to your favorite music or watch a show, join a gym and take advantage of their child care while you go pound out some frustrations, socialize with some other people and recharge.  Remember--something IS better than nothing.  If it's 5 minutes or 55 minutes or 5 hours (let's not get fanatical).

What motivates me is wanting to be able to keep up with my frantically energetic boys.  I want to be a kid with them and not feel like a slug and a party pooper.  I want to have a body that is still functioning well as I age (and age and age) hopefully into my 80's or 90's and not be a burden to any of my family or rack up exorbitant health care costs.  And I really want to see you there too.  Let's make a pact to be those Granny's you see on YouTube doing Michael Jackson moves and having the time of their lives.